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1602, Oct. 25. |
Sir, You may not think it strange to receive
from me no sooner answer, for I neither love to spend time
(neither have I it to spare) but when it is to purpose, which I
account it is not till I can send you certainty of that which you
desire for some support at the Queen's hands. Wherein I pray
you (for the present) take this from me; first, her Majesty's
mind is not so apt to give as before her wars, they having made
her sift all corners to maintain them, and made her indeed
value and balance every gift in more curiosity than before.
Secondly, where you say you can find somewhat which shall
not burden her, that is first half a paradox, for nothing can be
given which is not taken from her; if it be land, lease, escheat,
yet it is hers before it can be yours. Lastly, Sir, the time is not
as before, that when a Lord Treasurer had given her his advice
upon her gifts it was half won, for now all gifts pass censure:
inquisitions and approbation of commissioners selected, and
which is worst, I find her Majesty absolutely indisposed to give
any occasion of suspicion by using from henceforth any underhand maintenances to any there, to any private ends, especially
such against whom the King hath inveighed, and after whom
you can best know that he doth hearken, seeing you confess
yourself he would fain have an advantage to cut your throat.
This I write not because the Queen is one jot less jealous of
the King's desires than she was, but because you may neither
deceive yourself that she is persuaded that you or any can help
it (if he be ill disposed) nor project for yourself a course of life
or adventure only upon this hope which (by God) will fail
you, if without this you cannot subsist, or if you would not put
yourself into occasion of attendance, were it not to think to
deserve much of her. Nevertheless, Sir, because I love you
out of gratefulness that you have been content to hearken
curiously after those things which concern my poor fortune,
and because I see you would have used the credit you should
have gotten, both to the service of the Queen and to temper
the unjust conceits of any malicious or practising humour in
me (whereof the number of jealousies is great that are rooted
against me) I do so reputare voluntatem pro facto, as out of my
poor private means I will (by Mr. Rafe Gray's hand before the
24th of November) accommodate you with some thing to prevent
part of your present difficulties; though to any such sum as
you need (which must have been a prince's gift) I vow to God
mine own former prodigal and chargeable humours and fortune
cut from me the possibility to satisfy you. Always that which
shall be, I pray you think, I mean not to have you dream on
(otherwise to repay) than as that which you never received,
for I keep no reckoning of those things in which by advantage
of fortune only I pleasure my friends, but expect return when
their case may be mine, which is not impossible nor unlikely.
Besides, Sir, let me also desire you (as ever I have done) never
to move one inch out of your way for me, with opinion that I
would be any more secure by any promise you could procure
me from thence than I am without it, for I am only strong in
mine own honesty and constancy never to have insinuated
whilst my breath lasteth (and my mistress together) for any
future fortune. Your man came lately from your son and
brought me a pretty letter, of which towardliness I was glad to
see a testimony. What I promised him shall be still performed,
but I could not write by your servant to you when he was here,
being (I confess) a little troubled with an accident of the coming
hither of that party's sister for whom you know there was to
me so late a recommendation (of which I trust you hear no
unworthy carriage of the trust). I do mean thus, Sir, that here
is come a lady whom I hear should be recommended to me and
to the Lady Warwick (of which you only wrote) and not of me, a
matter (for which I am sorry), not that she is so to me, for such
addresses are incident to my place: it only grieves me that
the Lord Zanker [Sanquhair] should be any way made partaker
of such trusts, which if they proceed as the last did, I think
ought to have been more tenderly preserved and distributed
than to his lordship, in whom I know no extraordinary virtue,
though I know no ill. By my next you shall hear all particulars
which I can know, to whom I choose to commit them, seeing
I was first the receiver of them by you, with whom I would
they had stayed. I have not at this time anything else, but
by my next you shall hear more of many particulars, hoping
by that time to hear from you how Mowbrey hath discharged
himself, and how my Lord Hume hath discharged me. From
the Court this 25th day of October, 1602. Your loving and
assured friend, Ro. Cecyll.
Holograph. 4 pp. (213. 119.) |
